Summer Reading Essay Comment

1. After reading Bobby’s summer reading essay, I think Bobby did a great job mashing these two stories. Mixing the Kite Runner and Frankenstein is no easy task, but Bobby seemed to do it in a way that worked. I like the way he used the setting to make the characters meet up with one another. I could imagine the pub they walking into and how they both didn’t fit in with the locals.

2. I believe that Bobby’s best setting he used was the pub that the two characters met up at. They both stuck out at this English Pub where they were looking for something to eat. They both stuck out like sore thumbs. “ I followed the smell to a pub where once inside I could tell I didn’t belong but not knowing where else to go took a seat and waited to place an order. As I waited I looked around and noticed just one other man that didn’t fit the description of the regulars here.” I think this quote really made me able to picture the pub and imagine his hunger.

3. The conversation between the two characters seem pretty authentic. However, at some points in the essay it did seem awkward and didn’t seem natural. But I think Bobby did the best he could with the story and he did a good job putting it all together.

4. One thing that bothered me is that I think Bobby jumped over an sentence or idea. When the character walked into the pub, he sits down and looks around. Then out of no where he saids he decides to walk up to some guy and talk to him. I like Bobby’s paper, and I didn’t even realize it until I read it again. Bobby’s mind must have been going to fast for his fingers.



1. After reading Pat’s summer reading essay, I think Pat did a great job mashing these two stories. He took two characters from each story and used on of the setting for the characters to met. Pat did a good job at this, but it seems like it could use some work.

2. I believe Pat’s best setting in his story was the car that his characters drove in to Arizona. It was the most detail setting in the story. I think Pat missed out on creating images in the readers head by not describing his settings enough.  “as the drive continued a cloud of silence fell upon the driver the passenger and the silent baby sleeping in the backseat.” This is the only deceptive sentence in the whole essay.

3. The conversation between the two characters in Pat’s essay seemed to flow nicely. I thought it could have been added to a little and had a little more detail but it seemed like a good job overall.

4. One thing that really bothered me in Pat’s essay is that his intro seemed to talk about the novels. I think that takes away from the essay and Pat should have jumped into the essay without a character explanation. Except for that, I thought Pat did a nice job writing this essay.

Fall Fever

      Today was the day. The day that I finally got to leave this horrible place and get to leave “her”. By her of coarse I am speaking of my devil of an aunt. But todays the day, I get to leave and move to the states. Im finally going to school! All the way to Permian High School in Odessa, Texas! I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it! Questions just started running though my head all day. “Would they like me?” “Would I fit in?” “Should I play a sport or join the band?” “Is this a mistake?” All these questions would stay in my head until the fist day of school. When that day finally came, all of my questions got answered for me. School was like nothing I had ever experienced before. There were so many kids, small kids, big kids, fat kids, skinny kids, loud kids, and shy kids. The thing I quickly learned about the school was that almost everyone was white. There were white kids everywhere! I think I counted enough black kids to keep track on one hand. Another thing I noticed about Permian High was the school as a whole was obsessed with football. Football was everything at Permian High, Football players were celebrities. Girls would carry football players books to class just for recognition by them. And what football was to guys, cheerleading was to girls. If you wanted to be anything at Permian High, then you cheerleading was the only way to get it. So when cheerleading tryouts turned there head that fall, I decided to tryout. They run those tryouts like a boot camp. I now have a level of respect for cheerleaders I never had before. Those tryouts were one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it all payed off, because when I was given my pompoms, I knew I had made it at this school.

The football players at Permian High are godly to the rest of the school. Guys such as Boobie Miles, Jerrod McDougal, Don Billingsly, Brian Chavez, Mike Winchell, and Ivory Christian were immortal in these hallways. The first home game of the year was coming up, and our star player, Boobie Miles, got hurt during a preseason scrimmage. Boobie was the most cutest guy I have ever seen. I needed to talk to him. So during one football practice I faked an injury during practice and got sent down to the trainers while I knew Boobie was there. And just as I thought, there he was, the most popular guy in school, and he was in the same room as me! “Hey.” what was that sound? Wait, did Boobie Miles actually just say hi to me?! “Are you talking to me??” I said.
“No the ice machine behind you, yes you hahaha, you new? Whats your name?” Bobbie said.
“Yeah, my name is Jane EyreI, I just moved to Odessa last month.” I answered.
“Nice haha, so what you down her for babe?”
Oh my god, did the Boobie Miles just call me babe?! My heart started pounding and I didn’t want to mess this up, I couldn't afford it.
“Oh nothing, I just pulled a muscle during cheer practice.” I said.
“Oh a cheerleader huh? Thats cute.” He responded.
“Haha thanks, its going to be hell to walk home later today.” I told him.
“How about I give you a ride home, how about that, two cripples helping each other out” he told me.
“Yeah, that sounds great.” I responded while blushing.
“All right, lets head out then” he said as he grinned. “Here let me grab your books” He picked up my books and stuck his hand out at me, I blushed and looked at him, he looked so confident. I grabbed his hand and walked out of the school to his car, this would be the start to a great year at Permian High School this year.